i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
