Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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