That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
