oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
