really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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