I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
