Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
