K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
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You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
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Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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