He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
