I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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