I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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