Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
