What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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