Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
