I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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