He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
