ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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