Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
