I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
how drunk are you?
Several
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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