well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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