Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
