i think my tv is drunk
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
