I will die if light touches me.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
