Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
