you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
