We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
