I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
