I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
