i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
