it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
