I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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