I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
