i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Define "chronic" masturbator.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize