I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
