We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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