we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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