oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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