singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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