so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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