cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
