I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
