Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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