I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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