She's JV to your varsity
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
