Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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