and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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