apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
