Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
