I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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