I'm gonna have a badass scar
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
