After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
