i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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