i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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