like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
