By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I came so hard my ears popped.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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