i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
