Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
