Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
