i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
